Here are some ways to think about and deal with it:
1. Identify the Pattern
Do they constantly criticize you, compare you to others, guilt-trip you, or dismiss your feelings? Is the relationship more draining than nourishing?
Naming the behavior helps you separate their issues from your worth.
2. Set Boundaries
Boundaries don’t mean cutting someone off completely (unless you need to for your safety). They mean deciding what you’ll tolerate and what you won’t—e.g., “I’m not going to talk about my weight with you” or “If you yell at me, I’m ending the call.”
3. Limit Exposure
You may need to shorten visits, limit phone calls, or emotionally “buffer” yourself before seeing them. It’s okay to protect your energy, even from family.
4. Detach with Compassion
Remind yourself: their negativity is a reflection of their own pain, upbringing, or unhealed wounds—not a measure of you. You can care about them without internalizing their chaos.
5. Find Positive Family Elsewhere
Sometimes “chosen family” (friends, mentors, communities) provide the love and encouragement our relatives can’t. It’s okay to create a supportive circle outside blood ties.
6. Self-Care & Therapy
Journaling, mindfulness, and talking with a therapist can help you process guilt and set healthier patterns. Therapy especially helps when family dynamics leave deep scars.
👉 One key thing: you don’t owe anyone—even your mother—unlimited access to your peace. Family is important, but so is your mental health.
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