Here’s how it tends to break down:
1. Sexual self-pleasure
What women say about it: Many women describe it as a way to relieve stress, explore their own bodies, and understand what they enjoy sexually—sometimes making intimacy with a partner better because they can communicate their needs. Do they feel guilty? Guilt is common for women who grew up with religious, cultural, or family messages that masturbation is “shameful” or “wrong.” Others feel no guilt at all and see it as normal and healthy. Is it “okay” in a relationship? In healthy relationships, most partners see it as perfectly fine—as long as it’s not replacing emotional or physical intimacy. Some couples even view it as a normal part of sexual health.
2. Non-sexual “pleasing themselves”
What women say about it: This could mean doing things for personal joy—like taking a solo trip, buying themselves flowers, or enjoying a hobby. Do they feel guilty? Women sometimes feel guilty for putting their needs first, especially if they’ve been taught to prioritize others. But self-care is essential for well-being. Is it “okay” in a relationship? Absolutely—having your own sources of joy and satisfaction makes you a better partner.
If you’re talking about the sexual sense, research actually shows masturbation is healthy for most adults, whether single or in a relationship. The key is open communication with a partner so there’s trust and understanding rather than secrecy or resentment.
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